Learning to Love your Body



Learning to love your body is probably one of the hardest journeys most people go on. Despite the fact that women are more open about their struggles with body image, it is not a gender specific topic. This is a topic that plagues everyone. It is especially a topic that I have revisited several times over the last few months, even years, because of how much I struggle to simply love the body I was given. It is different for everyone; where the self body shaming begins. Maybe it was kids at school bullying you, maybe it was a loved one telling you that you could stand to lose a few pounds, maybe it was being repeatedly told to eat because you were too skinny. Everyone has a story that sparked their self body shaming and inability to be happy in their own skin.


I am going to start with an extremely recent story for y'all. This was on Black Friday during one of the busiest hours in my store. A child that could not be more than 7 years old abruptly asked me if I was pregnant. First of all, if you have been following my journey for a while, this was mildly triggering. Second of all, I was so stunned I quickly said no and handed them their bag and went about my day. Except, now my entire perception of myself was altered. I started questioning everything from the clothes I was wearing to the people around me. Did my shirt make me look pregnant? Have I gained weight and simply didn't notice? Do other people wonder the same thing and don't ask? I immediately wanted to change my outfit, go to the gym for 8 hours straight, and start eating only salads. All because a tiny human innocently asked me if I was pregnant. A tiny human that meant zero harm at all made me question my love for my body and my worth based on how I looked. How incredibly silly does that sound?


It sounds real silly, but I bet you all have a story about a child that hurt your feelings in their brutal innocent honesty. It goes without saying that prior to this moment I was already having body image issues. My body is different now. It is different because I am getting older and my metabolism is changing, but it is also different because of my experience. I was only pregnant for ten weeks, but it was long enough that my body is forever altered. My hips are wider and I have curves that I didn't have before. My hormones were altered so drastically that my metabolism is completely different. I have tried several diets, workout regimens, and different gyms. I have bounced from saying that I am beautiful at any weight to comparing myself to girls on the internet. Sometimes they are celebrities and sometimes it is girls I used to go to high school with that I perceive as prettier than me. Regardless, the comparison comes and I start going to the gym. It sticks for about two weeks, which is around the time I forget about the entire incident, and go right back to eating exactly how I was before.


Here is the issue with what I am doing. I am choosing to get healthier for the wrong reasons. I am going to the gym on an emotional whim based on how someone else looks, or what someone else said to me. In order to fully love yourself you have to do something completely for yourself. I know that most likely doesn't make much sense. Essentially, you have to do it for yourself and no one else. You need to make the decision to create a workout routine because YOU want to do it and not because someone said something about the way you look, or because you compared yourself to other people on the internet. I wish I could sit here and tell you exactly how to learn to love your body, but unfortunately that is something I am still working on. We can tackle it together! What I can tell you is that we won't get any closer to fully loving our bodies until we make the decision to do so. It could look like standing in front of a mirror completely naked, facing all of your wonderful imperfections head on, and saying over and over "I love my body and my body is beautiful." It could look like wearing an outfit you think is only for a certain body type and confidently rocking the shit out of it. Whatever works for you, I hope you know that you are beautiful no matter the number on the scale, what other people say, or the comparisons you may draw. You are perfect exactly as God made you. Remind yourself of that every single day and as always; have an amazing day friends!


**Note: I criticized everything about this photo below. I hated the way my thigh looked, my middle section looked, I felt like you could see every single roll, and that my muffin top was a flashing neon sign. The criticism makes me miss out on the fact that I was on a roof top bar in Nashville with my sisters laughing hysterically and drinking severely over priced frosé.


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Here offering community for everyone. Friends for life. Inspiration to all. Fueling myself with energy drinks and chicken nuggets. 

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